Sing Me to Sleep
by starrynight630
Summary: Bella is new to Forks and is done with false pretenses,ready to graduate and get out of her new 'home'-she hates it. She's never been truely in love and knows what she wants out of life. Edward is happy and always gets what he wants. Until he meets Bella.
1. Introduction

**Description: Bella is new and just moved to Chicago. When she meets Edward, life is never going to be the same ever again. What will happen when disaster strikes and Bella is left to cope? all human!! and lemon if you guys want!**

**ok, well this is just something that came to me while i was taking a shower a couple of hours ago. Based a little off the book Kissed by an Angel by Elizabeth Chandler. Made for Edward and Bella. **

**well i hope you like!**

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**Sing Me to Sleep**

**Introduction: Life**

There are many definitions of life_._

Life: _noun_. A living being.

Life: _noun._ animation; liveliness; spirit.

It's cruel to think about the different definitions of life for me after what has happened. It will never again be the same as it was before. Nothing will ever be the same now. Before, there was meaning to the days- reasons to get up in the morning, to do the usual routine, to eat meals, to do anything.

Now that was all gone. Now, I was left with the past and what was. My friends may have been right when they said things were happening too fast. But I didn't care. Maybe I should have listened to them. It might have been easier for me to endure this pain. It wouldn't be so intense, and maybe I'd be able to actually breathe. Then again, if I had, then I wouldn't have the memories I do. I wouldn't have the happiest moments of my life.

Now that everything I lived for was gone, what _should_ I live for? Nothing seemed important enough to me. I go through the daily motions, but that's it. Inside, I cry. Inside, where my heart once existed, there is an empty hollowness. It's like a thirst I cannot quench, a need that will never be fulfilled. It was a pain where no matter where I went or what I did, it would always be right there with me, never to let me forget.

I lay in bed with my eyes scrunched as tight as they can go. My legs were curled into me in a fetal position, my arms securely locked around them. When I wasn't at school, this is how I would spend my time. Through my closed eyes, I'd try to escape the endless agony that was always pounding through me. I tried to think of nothing. I focused on a blank wall; a wall where shadows consumed it, shrouding it in darkness.

My breathing would be in short, shallow pants. It hurt in my lungs like a physical aching to respire. Never was I allowed a chance to intake a breath of relief, for every time I inhaled, I was reminded of what happened. Reminded of how I was still breathing when I shouldn't be.

I was glad that I kept my blinds firmly shut and my light off. My room was in complete darkness and for that I was thankful. No light shown anywhere in the room, there was no light for me to see. For this I was thankful. Darkness had become my ally because when I saw light, it is forever associated with happiness, which I can't endure anymore.

Tears silently ran down my cheeks as I thought about how happy I was before. I missed it so much and wish for anything that I could go back to that time.

I continued this process like I have been for the past week.

_Why do I have to live through this pain?_

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**remember- this is an introduction, so yes, this will be shorter!**

**i'd really really really REALLY would love a comment. it would seriously make everything better. i've had kinda a crappy week. i cherrish every comment i get.**

**tell me if you like it. love it. hate it.**

**love you bunches!**

**Starrynight630**


	2. The Beginning

**I don't own Twilight, but i have seen new moon. AND IT WAS AMAZING!!!!**

**Sing Me to Sleep**

**1. The Beginning**

I sighed quietly to myself and moved around throughout my room, paying no attention to what was around me. I was too wrapped up in my thoughts.

I hated this. I had nothing here in this new town. Nothing that made me want to get up in the morning. There was no one I knew here; no one to spend my time laughing with or sharing secrets. This new place which I was supposed to call my home was foreign to me and I didn't want to accept this new future for myself. All I wanted was to go back to Chicago where life was waiting for me. I had friends there, a life that was waiting for me to live.

I sat on the edge of my bed, staring at one of the many unpacked moving boxes that had been stuck in my room over a week ago. My last act of defiance was refusing to open the boxes, to make this all permanent. My finger idly played with the masking tape that was binding the box closed. As it being the first day of school, I was nervous. As much as I despised Silver Spring, Maryland, I knew I'd have to accept that this is where I am now. I glanced out my window to the blossoming cherry trees that lined my street. It was one of the few attributes that I liked about it here.

I exhaled heavily once more as I looked at my clock and realized that it was time for school. I squeezed my eyes shut as tight as they could go. When I re-opened them, I pushed out all the negative thoughts that were jumbled into my head so I could prepare myself for the school day. There was no need to let my new classmates to know how much I was against their small town.

I got up slowly, heading over to the mirror for one last check. My wavy dirty blond hair was hanging loosely around my shoulders. I added a hint of black eyeliner to my aquamarine colored eyes, but that was it. I didn't try too hard to look good. It seemed pointless for me to try so hard when I didn't care enough about the people here. I scrunched my face in annoyance at myself once before heading down my stairs and into the kitchen, where my family awaited.

"Good morning Bella. How did you sleep last night," my mom, Renee asked me from her place beside my father at the island.

I huffed out a blunt answer back to her. "Fine, I guess."

I got my breakfast of cereal and apple juice together and headed to the table where my little sister, Abbey was sitting. I ate my food in silence except for when my mother or father would ask me something. Then I'd mumble a reply. When it was time for school, I uttered a small goodbye to my parents and proceeded out to the garage, where my car awaited me.

I was glad that I was able to keep my car. At first, my parents told me I had to sell it, but luckily I convinced them otherwise. My car was my lifeline, if I ever needed it. I knew that if I had my car, I could always escape this place if worse came to worse. I held on tightly to that possibility as I drove to school.

*******

The first day wasn't as bad as I'd imagined it would be. The people, for the most part were friendly enough. By end of the week, I had already gained two friends, Alice Brandon and Angela Webber.

Both were happy-go-lucky girls and could always be counted on for an optimistic view. Alice, with her short, black hair and tiny height, she was almost pixie-like. Angela, on the other hand, had dark brown hair, and legs that seemed to go on for miles. They acted like they could be related, always knowing what the other was thinking. And they accepted me easily into their little two-some easily. I fitted right in.

But it still didn't make me forget Chicago. After two weeks of school, the boxes in my room, nonetheless, remained unopened. My friends were nice and school wasn't terrible, but it was still no Chicago. If I had a choice, I would have gone back home if I could.

It was my third week of school and Alice, Angela and I were currently sitting in the back row of our global class talking about an upcoming girl's soccer game, barely paying any attention to the movie that the rest of the class was watching.

"Oh, come on, Bella! Don't leave Angela and I alone tonight. You need to go," Alice argued with me.

I sighed. "I don't know. I wanted to just stay at home and watch a movie or something."

"It's a Friday night, do you really want to spend your evening sitting home alone on your couch watching a move, Bella," Angela countered.

_Yes,_ it thought to myself.

Our teacher cleared his throat and gave her a pointed look. "Eyes on the screen."

Without another word, our eyes traveled to the screen, giving the movie our complete focus. At least my entire focus because the next thing I knew, a note had been thrust onto the desk in front of me.

_Just come with us. What do you have to lose?_

I inhaled one cleansing breathe. When I exhaled, I muttered a soft "fine". This was a pointless argument. I would never win anyway, so I figured that I should back out now before it was a complete defeat.

"Good. We'll pick you up at 6," Alice smiled at me.

"Last warning, Miss Brandon," the teacher called from his desk.

"Sorry, Mr. Hamilton won't happen again."

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**So here ya go! i know exactly what is gonna happen so i hope I'll be able to get a couple chapters of this and my other story When the Moon Met the Sun up this week cuse theres no school. (yay!!) hahaha**

**SO PLEASE REVIEW! it'll make my world! any ideas? please share! i'm always open to them**

**love it? like it? hate it? tell me.**

**lots of love,**

**Starrynight630**


	3. Chapter 2

**Wow. sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up! i've been super busy**

**i don't own twilight.. blah blah blah**

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**Sing Me to Sleep**

**Chapter 2**

"You're wearing _that_ to the game?" Alice looked as if someone had just eaten something out of the trash can.

"Yeah, I am. What's wrong with it?" I looked down to my outfit, wondering what was wrong with my sweatpants and hoodie. It was what we would wear to the games back in Chicago, but if I was being honest, I didn't care at all. This was what I'd have been wearing if I could have just stayed at home watching A Walk to Remember like I would be if I had a choice. So screw it. I'm wearing my goddamn sweats.

"We're not letting you walk out of this house like that. I don't know what it was like for you back in Chicago, Bella, but here in Forks, we do things a bit differently." With that, Alice and Angela left their stations by my front door and headed up the stairs at a determined pace. I followed behind them grudgingly, unhappy the way things were turning out.

"I still can't believe you haven't finished unpacking," Angela observed. I ignored the comment. It wasn't something I wanted to go into, not just now, but not ever. My new friends were not to know anything about my feelings on the subject of my move. That was for me alone.

Fifteen minutes later I was walking out the door in a short jean skirt and a gray and white striped cable knit sweater. The car ride was entertaining with the three of us singing to songs on the radio and laughing at how horrible we were. After we parked I got out of the door and looked to the field.

"Um, guys? I thought you said there was a girl's soccer game."

"Isn't there," Angela asked confused as she hopped out of the jeep.

"No. I think you guys got confused with football."

"Really? Oh well, at least now we can watch some cute guys," Angela said with a laugh.

The game was a joke. By halfway through the second quarter, our school team was down by fourteen. After the opposing team scored yet again, I announced it time for me to get a hot chocolate.

"A large hot chocolate, please," I said to the vender. I handed her the two dollars and replaced it with my drink. I blew on the liquid softly and twirled around to head back to the bleachers. But instead of looking out onto the field, my face hit something hard. I backed up a step and my eyes fell on a boy with a black shirt and jeans. When I met his face I saw bronze hair and a grin on his face.

"You alright there?"

"Yeah I'm fine. Sorry about that," I said and continued past him, leaving a look of amusement on his face.

I got back to my seat just in time to see us get a touchdown. Angela, Alice and I cheered with the rest of the crowd for finally scoring. "It's about time, jeez we really suck," Ang said. I laughed with the two of them and took a sip of my hot chocolate. There was movement next to me on the stairs and I looked over to see the boy who I ran into earlier stare at me as he walked up the steps.

I took another sip of hot chocolate, turning my head back to the game, where the extra point was about to be kicked, but right as the kicker was lining up, I felt eyes on me. I swiveled my head around only to see Alice with an impressed expression and Ang with big eyes staring at me.

"What?" Did I do something? I couldn't understand their faces. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"That was Edward. As in Edward Cullen." I shook my head in an uncomprehending manor at Alice. "How can you not know who he is?"

"I don't know. I've just never seen him before a couple of minutes ago when I literally ran into him."

"Well, he's so cute, but that's completely obvious," She rolled her eyes. "He's more on the quiet side. I'm not sure anyone actually knows him really well. Alex is the kind of guy who's shy, but can laugh easily."

"Huh," I said quietly. I thought that over while sipping my drink.

"It's so not fair that you ran into him like that! I really wish I was you," Angela sighed a couple minutes later.

"Trust me, my life isn't that exciting."

The ref's whistle blew, signaling the end of the game. The final score was 42-13. "Alright, let's go then," I said. Part of me was excited for the night to be over, to let me finally go back to the house and get away from this school. On the other hand, for once I was actually enjoying myself. I liked the feeling of going to football games with friends. It was what I would do in Chicago all the time.

"I'm home," I yelled into the house when I walked in. There was no answer so I walked into the kitchen and found a post-it on the counter.

_The three of us went out to a movie._

_Be back later tonight. Hope you had fun!_

_Love, _

_Mom_

I sighed heavily and with the note in my hand, I made a fist, crumpling the paper into a ball. I walked over to the trashcan and threw the note away.

After I got changed into my pj bottoms and a cami, I sat crossed-legged on my bed with my laptop in front of me. I checked my email, noticing a couple from Chicago, which I wrote back to my friends immediately. I craved going back to where I belong, where I felt _whole._ I turned off my laptop then, frustrated with everything around me. There was nothing to do on it, and I couldn't find anything to hold my interest at the moment. In defeat, I put my ipod into my ihome and set it to play Evanescence. Lately it's been my companion while I sat on my bed. The music complemented my mood perfectly and it soothed me.

I laid on my bed, curling up on my side, facing out the window into the dark street. It was so silent here, barely any noises to disturb you. I could faintly hear the last of the summer crickets singing into the starless night. I shut my eyes to the sight, focusing on the music as I drifted off to sleep.

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**well tell me watcha think please! i could really use some reviews!! not such a great week concerning friends so this would really give me a boost! and i'm serious when i say REVIEWS MEAN SOO DAMN MUCH TO ME! **

**love you all!**


	4. Lost Memories and New Distractions

**i don't own twilight, but i did just get finished decorating my christmas tree**

**Sing Me to Sleep**

**Chapter 3: Lost Memories and New Distractions**

The next day was hell for me. There was nothing for me to do. I tried watching TV, but nothing good was on, so I got bored. I tried reading, which normally would always hold my interest, but it was one of those days where I couldn't concentrate on the words. Once again, I had gotten bored. Nothing was working for me that day.

Sunday was no different.

I sighed and flopped onto my bed, turning on my iPod speakers in the process. Staring up at my ceiling, I let my mind wander as the music soothed my agitation. My thoughts drifted off to my life back in Chicago. I wondered what my friends were up to right this second. How much fun were they having without me? I sure wasn't having an exciting life at the moment. I turned nostalgic as I reminisced over the memories where I'd be out having fun somewhere on the weekends- going to parties, hanging out with my friends, or going to school games- not cooped up inside with nothing holding my interest, as I was now.

_That's it_, I thought to myself. I couldn't waste my time remembering what was. Those were just memories, that's all they will ever be- lost in the past forever.

But enough was enough. I had to find something to keep myself occupied, and not living off of what I wanted. Until I graduated, I was stuck in Forks, Washington. I might as well work on getting into a good college that was far away from here; and keeping my mind from wandering too much.

I heaved myself up from my bed and made my way over to the desk that occupied one of the corners in my room. I searched through the drawers until I found what I was looking for: the student handbook to Forks High School. I thumbed through it, my eyes searching for the extra-curricular activities. Once I found them I looked through each individually. I instantly ruled out key club, chess club, and student council. Those were things I promised myself a long time ago to never participate in. I had nothing against those groups, but it just wasn't my thing.

After carefully looking over each one, I finally narrowed it down to art club, yearbook club, and the school newspaper, The Daily Spartan. I decided on the newspaper, thinking that it would keep me the most interested and help out the greatest on college applications. Plus, if I really wanted to I could join the others later on.

.::::::::.

"Bella, did you want to go to the diner down the street after school for some food with Angela and me? I've been really craving me a good piece of pie," Alice asked as we were getting settled into our Global seats.

"Sorry, I can't. There's a meeting after school for the newspaper."

"Since when were you on the Daily Spartan," Alice scrunched up her face in confusion.

"Since this past weekend, actually. I figured it couldn't hurt on college applications." I shrugged.

"Oh, alrighty then."

After the bell rang for last period, I hustled to the conference room located in the library, which was where the meeting was going to take place. I sat down towards the back of the room, setting my bag on the floor propped against my chair, and silently surveyed the room. There was a decent turn out; a fair amount of students scattered throughout the room, some talking amongst themselves, whereas others were keeping to themselves.

Soon the meeting started. "Alright everyone; welcome to the first official meeting of the Daily Spartan. In case you don't know me, I'm Mr. Hamilton and I'll be your newspaper supervisor." Was it just me, or did anyone else find it odd that Mr. Hamilton, my _Global_ teacher, was in charge of the newspaper instead of an English teacher? I shrugged it off as normal as I noticed that everyone else here either didn't seem to realize this fact or found it completely normal.

As he started going over the basic preliminaries of writing for the Daily Spartan, my eyes began to drift around the room to get a better look at, as of late, my fellow staff members. I noticed a few girls and a couple guys from my calc and Brit Lit classes, but I didn't know them too well. Then again, I didn't really know anyone too well here besides Angela and Alice. On my right, by the wall, was a boy in my drawing class whose name I was pretty sure was Emmett McCarty. He was standing next to the guy I ran into at the game Friday evening. Alice said his name was Edward, I was pretty sure.

"Here you go," said a kid who was standing by my side, pulling me out of my thoughts. In his hand was a piece of paper, outstretched in an obvious gesture for me to take.

"Oh, thanks," I replied, taking the paper gently from him. My eyes skimmed over the words written there and became intent when I discovered the section on the jobs the writers would keep. As I read each of them over, I knew I'd made a good decision when I'd chosen this club to join. English had always been a good subject for me and I found writing to be an enjoyment of mine.

"The next meeting will be on Wednesday, where I will give everyone their first assignment. Sorry folks, I know you'd rather chose your subject and all that, but since there's a bigger group this year, it will be easier if I pick them. I'll see you all Wednesday," Mr. Hamilton concluded at the end of the meeting.

People dispersed at once. I was surprised at how quickly everyone had left the room. By the time I got my bag together, only a handful of students were left. Before I could get up from my seat, a vibrate set off in my bag, so I bent over and rummaged through it in search of my phone, tossing various objects onto the floor in my haste to answer my cell. When I finally found it, I looked to see who was calling me; it was Alice; but just as I was pressing the send button, the missed call icon popped onto the screen. Oh well, I'd call her later to see what she wanted. After replacing the things that I tossed out of my bag, I stood up from my seat and left the library.

I was almost to the exit when I heard footsteps approaching quickly and turned my head to find Edward coming to a stop in front of me, panting slightly. "You forgot these." He held up a link of keys held together by a chain.

My body, which was half facing the door and half, facing Edwar at this point, turned completely to meet him. Slightly perplexed and a little surprised, I took my bag off my shoulder to check and see if my keys were there. They weren't. I blushed faintly at my stupidity as my eyes met Alex's again.

"Thanks, I didn't realize I left them there."

"Oh, no problem; I was about to head out when I saw them lying on the floor where you were sitting, and so, here I am," he said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Yep, here you are," I said kind of awkwardly as I took my keys from his hand. After a moment of silence I said, "Well, I guess I'll get going now. Thanks again." I turned away from him and pushed the door to the parking lot open.

"Wait," he called from behind me. I turned back to him with questioning eyes. "So you're joining the paper?"

"Yeah, I think I am."

"Well, I'll probably be seeing you around then." His lips pulled up somewhat at the corners.

"Probably." With that I turned my back on Edward and strode out the door to my car.

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**Alrighty, another chapter up for you guys!! i'm kinda proud that it took me less than a week to get this one out! wooo! hahaha**

**I wanted to say thank you to all of you guys who added me to your story alerts! But.. (i hope i'm not sounding annoying or anything by saying this, but it has to be done..) i'd really apreciate more reviews!! It really doesn't take very long, and your guys feedback really encourages me to keep going!**

** love the holiday season, and its a great way to give back *cough* reviews **

**SO.. ok i don't really know what i was going to say now...**

**lots of love**

**starrynight630**


	5. Chapter 4

**I don't own Twilight, but i am super excited for christmas!!!**

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**Sing Me to Sleep**

**Chapter: Four.**

The next day I was in a great mood. I was excited for the newspaper, ready to get my new position, and possibly my first assignment. Unfortunately, I still had one more day to go before I got any of that.

But mostly, my jovial attitude seemed to stem from the previous night. When I went to bed that evening, there was no unsettling thoughts, no tossing and turning in an attempt to shut my mind off and fall asleep. Last night had been different than every other night I've ever had in Forks, Washington. Last night there were no silent tears, no desire to run away. It was different. When my head hit the pillow, my eyes drifted closed. And there were no dreams. For the first time since moving, I didn't have the usual nostalgic dream of returning home. There was just… nothing. My sleep had been peaceful.

And as a result, my morning had been pleasant. I think even Angela and Alice noticed the change in me. Throughout my times with them that day I was constantly smiling and throwing myself into conversation with more enthusiasm than normal. I hadn't really been like this since Chicago.

But okay, if I was being completely honest, I still wasn't okay. My heart would throb at the thought of my old life. I still wasn't completely happy today. I was still hurting, but it was also a titanic improvement.

My smile faltered for a second thinking about Chicago and my hidden unhappiness. Alice was talking beside me in the hallway to lunch.

"Hey Bells, you don't mind if I run by the library before the cafeteria? You don't have to come with me if you don't feel like it, though."

I snorted. "Nonsense. I'll come with you, it's no big deal."

Once in the library, I continued to follow Alice, but a book caught my eye so I veered off towards it, thinking she was all right for a couple minutes. After a couple minutes of distraction by the surrounding books, my head shot up and searched for Alice, guilty for forgetting where she got off to. I pulled a 360 in hopes of spotting her, but I had no luck.

"Were you looking for something?" I started at the unexpected voice, giving a small jump.

I turned around to face the voice and craned my neck up to meet the owner of the voice, only for my eyes to land on Edward Cullen. _When did he get here_, I wondered, but I quickly regained my composure.

"More like someone. Have you seen Alice Brandon?"

Edward rubbed his chin, thinking it over, "I don't think so, but I can help you look." I was about to protest, but he cut me off before my lips could create a sound. "No, it's okay, really. I was just heading over to the cafeteria. I have a free now."

I shrugged in defeat, thinking it pointless to argue. Without looking over my shoulder at him, I turned on my heels and started pulling my legs forward. He'd either follow or not. It didn't matter greatly one way or another.

I felt his presence at my side seconds later and together we made our way to the library's exit in silence, all the while keeping our eyes open for Katie.

After a couple of steps without noise, Edward broke the quiet. "So I hear you're from Chicago, aren't you?" I glanced over at him to see him looking down at me intently. "Do you miss it much?"

With his last sentence, I avoided Edward's gaze and focused my eyes on the floor that was moving below me. My brows knitted together as I thought over what he'd said. Nobody had really asked me that. When people here talked about to me about Chicago, it was always "moving must be a big change" or something along those lines. Nobody had ever asked me about how I felt about the move. Nobody before had cared enough to wonder how it affected me.

And now, a boy who I ran into at a football game, who came after me to return my keys that I had dropped, wanted to know if I missed Chicago. He was basically a stranger to me. And he wanted to know the answer to a question that was eating my insides.

Suddenly, I wondered how I should answer Edward's question. Should I respond how most would expect me to? Give the appropriate, well mannered answer? Say the typical response- "a little, but I'll adjust. It will all work out in the end"?

_No_, I thought to myself. I'm tired of giving the proper answer. For once, I wanted to tell someone how I really felt; to finally stop lying to everyone. I was done with it.

"Yes," I whispered. "More than you can imagine." At this, I finally mustered up the courage to turn my head up to look at him in the eyes. There I saw understanding and a hint of sadness in those emerald depths of his.

"I'm sorry," Edward said in a low, sincere voice.

It felt odd to have someone have a glimpse into the pain I was always enduring, however small a look it was. I didn't know what to make of it, how to feel. So, I took one last look around the library before we got to the doors in an effort to distract myself. Just as I was averting my eyes, I saw a flash of short, black hair. It was Alice's.

Abruptly, I was glad to get away from this boy that just moments ago, I'd confessed a secret to.

"Well, I just found her." I gestured to the direction Alice went in. "Thanks for walking with me," I said somewhat awkwardly. I cleared my throat and hurried away from Edward without another glance at him.

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**so.... waddya think???**

**yes, no? maybe so?**

**so i had a long car ride this past weekend and so i've written a couple chapters for later on in the story, but its for later.. sorry. but i did write another chapter after this one, i just have to type it up cuse its in my notebook, so it'll be within the next couple of days.**

**so bear with me if your finding it a slow..**


	6. Hidden Agenda

**I don't own Twilight, but i do own a new rock band 2! and a camera, and a new ps3... and more... haha**

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Sing Me to Sleep

**Chapter Five: Hidden Agenda**

"Where were you," I asked Alice when I reached her. "I looked all around for you."

"Sorry, must not have noticed you before," she said in an offhand tone. Then I noticed how she was positioned.

Alice was bent down between two bookshelves and at the sound of my voice, she'd jumped up into a standing position, reminding me of a little kid whose parents had caught her hand in the cookie jar before dinner time.

"What are you doing," my voice inquiring and slightly suspicious.

"Umm… nothing just getting a book for some light reading." Alice quickly picked a book off the bottom shelf near where she was squatting moments ago.

Before she could object, I snatched the book out of her hands. "Rosa Parks: A Biography," I read from the book. I lifted a single eyebrow, knowing full well that Alice would never read about Rosa Parks unless it was absolutely necessary. She despised history- that's why she and Angela were always talking during Global. Plus, let me not forget that she didn't _do_ light reading. In fact, I was pretty sure Alice Brandon hasn't read a book for pleasure since middle school- if that.

"Yeah, I decided to switch it up a little, ya know, for fun and all. Yay," her voice trailed off by the end of her words.

"Huh," was all I said in response. Alice knew that I was aware that she was lying. Clearly, she was up to something. I didn't know what it was, but I was sure of the fact that she couldn't lie to save her life.

We walked out the library doors after checking out her wonderful books. At least she got the book that she had originally come here for. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her glance down at the Rosa Parks book, and I just knew she was trying to find a time to return it.

"So, was that Edward Cullen you were talking to before in the library?" Alice tried to sound indifferent, but failed miserably.

And now I knew why Alice was acting so weird.

I wasted no time in getting to the point. "Were you spying on me?"

"Well, no… I," she stuttered. "Oh, alright, fine. I saw him coming near you and I thought about the football game on Friday, so I hid so I could see if anything would happen. But then you guys started waking and then I couldn't hear what you two were saying. I tried moving closer, but obviously, you caught me. Unfortunately, I have no idea what you guys were talking about." Alice's face fell. "So, what _were_ you talking about?"

I laughed at her absurd plan. Only Alice could come up with that. But secretly, I was glad she didn't hear what I'd said. She wasn't supposed to know about how my heart ached to return to Chicago. Alice was a new friend here, and I didn't want to hurt her feelings because of the truth. It was just better if no one knew. I began to faintly regret telling Edward about it. I mean, after all, I didn't know him at all. I guess that was part of the reason why I'd told him in the first place. I wouldn't be hurting his feelings because we weren't close. Edward was a neutral person, someone who had asked a vital question and in which I held no ties to.

"Nothing important." With that I dropped the conversation as we walked down the hallway to lunch with Alice supplying most of the conversation.

.::::::.

For the rest of the day, my mood had withered slightly. It was difficult for my mind to focus on school since it kept drifting over to my confession with Edward. What was going to happen now that he knew? Maybe it was better to try to avoid him, to keep him from talking about it with me; after all, the last thing I wanted was to make him feel obligated to have a discussion with me about the whole thing. That would be horrible.

But as I kept thinking more about it, another solution to the problem began to present itself. Was there even a point to worrying about it, like I was doing? It's not like it could be used against me like blackmail or anything. It wasn't that kind of secret. But it was something personal, something no one else knew about. And now, as a result, I felt as if I was completely exposed, like there was nothing to hide, no mystery whatsoever to me. I was like an open book for all to see openly. I wasn't sure if I liked it all that much.

Currently, I was stationed in my bedroom, like I was every night after my family and I had dinner. And here I was, once again staring out my window at the cherry trees that lined the street. It was odd how soothing gazing out at them could be. Maybe it was something to the contrasting colors of the dark brown assorted bricks of the houses that made up my street to the bright cheerful pink that was starting to form a blanket on the surrounding ground. Or perhaps it was just the serenity, the flowers themselves floating to the ground in the slight breeze. I have no idea. But I liked it. It let me really think.

Dinners here had been the same, and tonight was no exception. Mom and Dad were falsely cheerful, as usual- trying to hide any problems that our family could possibly be having. I stayed silent in my seat, eating my food and talking only when asked a question. I didn't like how they were barely ever home anymore. We weren't a family anymore, we were broken now; fragments and pieces of what was, laying around because no one was picking up the pieces.

Abbey just went along with it. She didn't want our family fighting; what she wanted was all to be well with everyone. I felt bad for her, too. She didn't deserve this. She should have parents that were actually there, not walking around, pretending everything was perfect. Abbey had years left here, after all she was basically a child. I, on the other hand, was basically grown up, only having another year left before leaving for college.

I heard a tap on my door. "Bella?" It was my mother, Renee.

"Yes." My answer was dull with barely any warmth. I huffed out a breath of air as I slid my eyes away from the trees to my mother standing in the doorway.

"I need you to run out to the store. We need milk. Abbey just drank the last of it and there's none in the outside fridge.

I loved how there was no question to it, no "Bella, could you please?" or "if you're not doing anything important at the moment". Lately, well more specifically, ever since we moved, my parents aren't the same. They work more, pay less attention to Abbey and I both.

I grabbed my keys off the dresser and pushed past my mother. "Yeah, sure."

"Oh, and some ice cream, too," Renee hollered from behind me.

Nothing's the same anymore.

* * *

**I'm so sorry i didn't update sooner, but i had a death in my family on christmas day, which sucks royally, so i've been away for the funeral and such. there also was no internet for me there anyway.**

**so anyways, i hope you guys liked this chapter, so PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!! it would mean bunches to me cuse it hasn't been the greatest holiday for me...**

**but HAPPY NEW YEAR!! haha i should probably go to bed right now seeing as its 4:37 in the morning..**

**Starrynight630**


	7. IMPORTANT

I really want to continue this story but I think I need a beta reader's help for me to continue. So. Does anyone wanna beta for me. Possibly? Pretty please?

and i promise this will be the last non-chapter chapter. i've always not liked it when i read other people's stories and they have a whole bunch of these so, seriously, i promise no more. and i'm really aiming to get my next chapter our by next week. i've just been stuck in this one spot since i last update which was like, 2 months ago. so i'm sorry!! but i really need a beta reader!

private message me or something if your interested!!

**starrynight630**


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